AM
Another 5am rise for me today. I wanted to be able to sleep in longer today to keep energised for when you’re going to be spending a night at home tonight – but it wasn’t anxiety that kept me from sleeping – it was sheer excitement today. I waited in bed for an hour and a half before getting up and taking an early morning drive to Tesco. Being able to drive is just going to make such a difference. I’m feeling pretty impressed with myself this morning because I managed to have a cigarette whilst on the road – mastering the art! I also enjoyed belting out Annie Lennox on the way home *chuckles*.
Tesco was completely dead – as to be expected at 7:20 in the morning on a Saturday – only we mentalists pottering about at that time. I felt a bit sad though as the trip wasn’t fun without you. There was nobody there for me to throw a strop at in the toy isle.
Thinking about what I want to write to you is helping me take in the world in such a different manner. It makes me think of from a line from song that I love;
“Heartbreaktown is pretty
Now that all the leaves are gone and it's
getting colder every day
My heartbreaktown is more lively now that you're not here
Heartbreaktown reminds me all the time that I am
still very deeply in love with you”.
Now that all the leaves are gone and it's
getting colder every day
My heartbreaktown is more lively now that you're not here
Heartbreaktown reminds me all the time that I am
still very deeply in love with you”.
If there is any major positivity that can come from this difficult time, it is that I find it easier to tap into creative resources. I see things in new sight and interpret them with better care and attention than I might if I was busy bustling through life blindly. I only want to share the good and beauty of life with you and consequently it’s making me see with different eyes. I want to thank you for that, for allowing me to bring the magic of the external inward. Even tears quite literally change what I can see, that blur becomes a kaleidoscope of colour and then it’s as Anne Frank said, “I don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains”. Wise chick that one.
PM
I’m coming to get to get you!
Four down
Sleeps with me tonight :D
Mousey xx
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