AM
I was glad to wake up just about twenty minutes before my flight was due to touch down this morning. Out cold for the whole flight - made it pass much quicker. It was the train journey back into Preston that seemed to take forever.
Watching you run down the pavement at the train station was just inexplicable. If you remember I just sat on my case and watched you for a brief second before I got up. The whole thing happened in slow mo - you curly hair bobbing away. I didn't quite know what to do when I grabbed hold of you. The world stopped at that moment.
Coming home to find your note of the bed was beautiful - I read it straight away this time and I know I will continue to read it all the time until you are home for good.
PM
To be honest the whole day has felt a bit surreal - partially it may have been the medication taking a long time to wear off but it just didn't feel real. I'm sorry if I was very quiet - I was just drinking the moments in. It was nice to just lapse into old routines, you pottering around tidying up after me, nipping to the supermarket. It seemed somewhat important to me to carry on just as we'd left off.
\I was glad to go up to your Mum's with you this evening and I didn't want to leave when I did. I felt awful as I pulled away but I know I will see you again on Wednesday :) . I can't tell you anything else about my evening really as all will be revealed on Thursday.
I do know when I had finished what I needed to do (and some things I didn't really need to do) I got into the car and my heart sank. The prospect of driving home to let myself into the empty part of our house made me want to cry. I took a longer route home and gave myself some thinking space driving along. I was glad to know your top and letter would be there waiting for me and your text about your essence being all around helped. I noted a few fireworks on my drive and focused on how next year I hope to get bundled up with you and watch a display. This year I didn't dwell on not getting involved. I was quite frightened driving home through the village - there was so much smoke from bonfire as visibility was really bad, but it took it slow, kept calm and made it. It's moments like that when I really, truly realise I will never want to be on my own, I feel safe with you in the face of anything.
I have gone through the motions since I got in, tidying up after myself, sorting out what I need to do tomorrow and have settled down with the tv on and a hot chocolate with marshmallows. I like that I can type to you in this little box - compensates somewhat for you not being actually here to talk to. It's funny that you have just posted on Facebook the "Home Again" song - as that's been on my mind all of today and of course was the theme for todays post.
I am now surrounding by things from you and for you and it's keeping me busy. It's okay being apart tonight because I'm interpreting it being all part of the planning and surprise for your birthday - not that you actually can't be here.
I hope now that I am home things get somewhat easier and we're never so far apart ever again.
Mousey xx
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