In therapy at daycare today Ruth left off on a note to remember; that although we might feel alone it's important to remember the people who are always around us and support us. Even though they may not be there physically their "energy" always is - and that really struck a chord with me. In fact I wrote it on my hand.
During this group we also looked at different relationship types and when discussing the "co-dependant element" I got quite up on my high horse about how that so long as both individuals were happy and healthy why did "co-dependance" get such a bad rap. I said to Ruth that to me, that "co-dependance" structure to me transpires to "unconditional love" and that in fact I cannot exist without you and I had absolutely no desire to change that belief. I didn't want to live my life without wholly needing you and without you wholly needing me. Extracting our illnesses from the equasions (which we are doing and still remaining co-dependant) I didn't see why having this kind of relationship is a bad thing. I said I felt that why these relationship constructions might be the archiatype - I don't feel they can be made true of everyone situation in terms of what is "right or wrong".
I have no shame in admitting that this post has was actually inspired by an episode of "How I Met Your Mother". The central story line was about Marshall and Lily's little "love riutals" and the things they do for each other, particularly when apart. The episode plot line focused around how they were trying to move on from doing certain things in the name of the relationship "maturing" but found they couldn't give many of them up because they matter too much but in place of some older ones, new ones took their place.
As I am sitting here this evening I can't help thinking back about the rituals we used to have, such as how you we'd insert little post-it note love messages into each others bags or lunches, how we'd acknowledge every month anniversary of our relationship with a card or gesture, you always making the hot chocolates, me reading to you in your bath. I miss a lot of the things we used to do, the rituals and the routine, but like Lily and Marshall our relationship too is having to change - not "mature" as such, but adapt.
The beauty of this though is enjoying creating new love rituals with you. This blog is one, the way when I come to visit you always refill my hot water bottle and when you come out of the ward I always bring a drink for you and there are probably little things we do that we haven't been doing long enough to realise they are rituals. These are small and seemingly insignificant things but they seem to matter to me so much and help me feel connected to you. We cannot be together but the small things that we love about our relationship still have place to exist, reminds us both that this definitely doesn't mean that things are "on hold".
... and on that note "Monday I love you" ;) .
33 days we have survived and we are still surviving.
Mousey x
During this group we also looked at different relationship types and when discussing the "co-dependant element" I got quite up on my high horse about how that so long as both individuals were happy and healthy why did "co-dependance" get such a bad rap. I said to Ruth that to me, that "co-dependance" structure to me transpires to "unconditional love" and that in fact I cannot exist without you and I had absolutely no desire to change that belief. I didn't want to live my life without wholly needing you and without you wholly needing me. Extracting our illnesses from the equasions (which we are doing and still remaining co-dependant) I didn't see why having this kind of relationship is a bad thing. I said I felt that why these relationship constructions might be the archiatype - I don't feel they can be made true of everyone situation in terms of what is "right or wrong".
I have no shame in admitting that this post has was actually inspired by an episode of "How I Met Your Mother". The central story line was about Marshall and Lily's little "love riutals" and the things they do for each other, particularly when apart. The episode plot line focused around how they were trying to move on from doing certain things in the name of the relationship "maturing" but found they couldn't give many of them up because they matter too much but in place of some older ones, new ones took their place.
As I am sitting here this evening I can't help thinking back about the rituals we used to have, such as how you we'd insert little post-it note love messages into each others bags or lunches, how we'd acknowledge every month anniversary of our relationship with a card or gesture, you always making the hot chocolates, me reading to you in your bath. I miss a lot of the things we used to do, the rituals and the routine, but like Lily and Marshall our relationship too is having to change - not "mature" as such, but adapt.
The beauty of this though is enjoying creating new love rituals with you. This blog is one, the way when I come to visit you always refill my hot water bottle and when you come out of the ward I always bring a drink for you and there are probably little things we do that we haven't been doing long enough to realise they are rituals. These are small and seemingly insignificant things but they seem to matter to me so much and help me feel connected to you. We cannot be together but the small things that we love about our relationship still have place to exist, reminds us both that this definitely doesn't mean that things are "on hold".
... and on that note "Monday I love you" ;) .
33 days we have survived and we are still surviving.
Mousey x
No comments:
Post a Comment